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Written by: Emilia Jansson

I fell in love ... with my hostbrother!

When I went to the USA in August last year I had, like every other exchange-student-to-be, no thoughts except having a typical ”American year”. High school, new friends, get to experience the American culture and just have fun for a year. I had no idea that I was going to meet a wonderful guy, no less fall in love.

You know how people say that ”love happens when you least expect it?” Well, I guess I can say that I see what they mean.

I met him the same day I arrived in Pheonix.  August 20 2008. I didn’t think anything special, I was just happy that I finally was there and got to meet my hostfamily! He introduced himself as Christopher. Of course, I had already heard about him in my hostmoms e-mails. ”How fun with a hostbrother my age” I thought before I left. Little did I know…

After a couple of days of getting to know eachother as ”hostsiblings” I started to realize something else. Was he flirting with me? And, did I flirt back? You got it right.

Eight days after my arrival to Phoenix my family had planned a trip to Rocky Point, Mexiko. The excitment was high and a vacation to the beach was well needed for the family. I was just happy to be going to Mexico!

So after another day of what I presumed was flirting from his side we suddenly walked on the beach during the Mexican sunset. I won’t deny it, I liked him more than just as my hostbrother. I tried to get rid of the thoughts. He was my hostbrother, we were supposed to be living under the same roof the following 10 months.

During our walk, all of a sudden, we kissed. Yes, romantic and unreal. Even though, the thoughts were still there. He was my hostbrother. What would my hostmom say?

When she saw us coming back from our walk she looked at us and smiled. She said: ”Don’t pretend like nothing’s happend, tell me!”  Time to be yelled at, and this was doomed to failure, I thought.

But she was very positive to it all, but also realistic. ”Even if this is something that’s plain fun for a year, or if it is something serious, I’m glad for you as long as you enjoy eachother’s company. But I want you both to know that Emilia has go home next June, and you both will get hurt if this develops.”

And so it goes. Sure there where thoughts like “it’s going to be tough if we break up and still have to live together” in our heads, but we choosed to take a day at a time and see where it took us. But, it wasn’t always easy dating your hostbrother.

As you can guess my organisation didn’t allow relationsships between “hostsiblings”. (I think this is a very stupid rule by the way. Who decides who to fall in love with?!) This ment that we couldn’t be “us” everywhere. Not in school, and not in places where people from school hung out. My representative in the USA told me if we didn’t end our relationsship, I was getting replaced or sent home.

But somebody also said “love conquers all”. We had to deal with it and stay low. Only our closest friends knew about it (my family in Sweden aswell), and it remained the same throughout the year. Yes, it was sad not to be able to be boyfriend and girlfriend on “homecoming” and “prom”. But being together was everything for us.

The last day of school, on Christophers “graduation”, we ignored all rules and what people said. I was going home soon, and the chance of getting sent home three weeks before my departure seemed absent. In front of everybody he knew on “graduation”, he kissed me. We didn’t care if anybody saw us. So what? We finally got to be the couple we had been for the last ten months. The reactions from our friends was the greatest. They all were so surprised!

Unfortunatly, the day we both feared arrived. I had to go home. What would happen to us? Ten months together, would they all go to waste? The mood at home was not the best. I was of course sad and worried, and even if we both decided we wouldn’t break up when I went home, I had a hard time enjoying the rest of the time.

I sat by the kitchen table a day, when I hear Christopher and my hostmom whispering. “Show her” I heard, and startled. He pulled a paper out of his pocket and placed it on the table in front of me. A airline ticket. To Sweden! He was flying home with me to stay with my family for ten days! “This is also proof that Sweden is not that far away, and if we really want this to work, it will!” he said.

As I said before, was finding a guy on the other side of the Atlantic sea my last expectation. Life is unpredictable! My hostmom always said “you sure got more than you bargained for when you signed up for the exchange year.” And, indeed, I did!

We had ten wonderful days together in Sweden, and saying goodbye to him at Arlanda (The international airport of Stockholm) was one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was hard not to cry, and it was hard to tell yourself that we are going to see eachother soon, but we had to.

Me and my hostbrother

Right now, I’m in Sweden, I have my ticket and in 69 days I’ll be on the plane back to Pheonix to visit my beloved boyfriend. My own American! Some days is harder then the others. Some days it feels like October won’t come. But every day I get to see him on Skype and hear his voice. Every day is one day closer to the departure.

We don’t know what will happen in the future, we don’t know what will happen with us. At the moment, we’re in love, and that’s all that matters. On August 29 we will have been dating for a year, and the thought of that he’s my boyfriend makes me flip!

Love conquers all, and if you want something much enough there is always a way of making it work! The Atlantic ocean is just a sea. Not more than that. Nothing will keep us from beeing together.


I fell in love with my hostbrother

Comments

1 Henry on Dec 16th, 2009 said:

smile

That’s…nice. I hope you guys are still seeing eachother

2 Emilia on Feb 8th, 2010 said:

Thank you smile we are, he flew over here for Christmas and spent all Christmas and new years here, and im going back in a few days to stay for three weeks smile and thank you, whoever translated the article from Swedish to English! smile I really appreciate it smile

3 Charlotte R. Stordal on Mar 18th, 2010 said:

I’m crying!!
This is SO cute :D

4 Leslie on Apr 9th, 2010 said:

That’s amazing. I’m crying too! Your story relates so much to me. My boyfriend is an exchange student from Sweden who is living in the U.S. for a year. When we met, we hit it off instantly, fell in love, and he’s my very best friend. He leaves in two months, and, while I’m trying my best to enjoy the time he has left, it’s really hard knowing how far away we’ll be from each other.
It’s also hard because it’s such a touchy subject to talk about with him, because when I bring up “our future” together, he gets extremely upset (understandably) and we never really get anywhere with the conversation. So, as of right now, I’m not sure whether or not he wants to stay together or not. I completely agree with your thought that “the Atlantic is just a sea” and nothing should separate love.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that reading this gave me a little bit of hope, and it was truly moving. I wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck together!

5 Sofia on May 10th, 2010 said:

This made me cry. I met an amazing guy from Sweden and we have fallen for each other like crazy. Its just that we have only three weeks left and I can’t bring myself to say bye.
Never to see his face again.
Never to hear his lovely accent.
Never to see his eyes light up when he sees me.
Never to enjoy his childlike behaviour.
Never to hold his hand and feel the luckiest girl in the world.
Never to feel so special again.

I’ll miss you darling :(

6 Lexi Blair on May 12th, 2010 said:

I enjoyed reading your story, but I have a question for you. My boyfriend is an exchange student from germany. We have been toghter for 3 months(Thats not a very long time but it still feels like love) and he is leaving in 39 days. We both are very weary about the future since i am a freshman and he is a junior we have our reservations about our lives after we get out of highschool. I just wanted to ask if you and your boyfriend fought in the last weeks you were in the USA?

7 christl :) on May 27th, 2010 said:

very cute story smile

8 emilia on May 27th, 2010 said:

Thank you guys! Yes, we did fight a bit more my last few weeks in the States. We were scared about the future and it resultet in a few smaller fights, but it all worked out. I am headed back in three weeks, and we have made it through a year of a long distance relationship. We are spending all summer together, and I can’t wait. And for you out there, it’s not impossible to stay together though it’s a pretty long distance.

9 becca on Jul 18th, 2010 said:

I can relate to you so much!! I live in the USA, and I met a Brazilian exchange student who went to my school for 6 months. We hung out every single day again and again and again… and finally we decided to be together exclusively. Eventually, he had to leave. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with, and still is. We skype every night and every day for as long as we can, but it’s so frustrating not being able to give him a hug or even just BE with him. It’s a different kind of relationship, and neither of us wants it to end. He didn’t leave too long ago, but it feels like forever. I’m in so much pain, I just want to be with him. He’s coming back next summer for a whole month which is great, but I’m convincing my parents to let me stay in Brazil for 2 weeks with his family, who I’ve already met. I’d love to talk to you about the whole struggle if that isn’t too weird, haha. It’s just amazing to read your story and realize that I’m going through the EXACT same thing. Anyways, nice writing.

My e-mail: Cutie94m@aol.com

Bye!!!

10 Sofia on Jul 18th, 2010 said:

Ah update on min story. We are doing the whole distance thing. Its well hard but we both love each other too much for this too end. We skype all the time but I love him so much that skype is just not enough. All I want to do is hug him, kiss him and be with him again.
I’ve started studying Swedish now and watch Swedish films and generally engage in Swedish activities smile

x

11 Helle on Jul 20th, 2010 said:

wow, what a story! I am so happy for you!! and thanks for sharing it! omg smile

12 Alexi on Aug 20th, 2010 said:

I loved your story, it also made me cry. And I am in a similar situation, but instead of my boy coming here, I went to Argentina on exchange. It will be one year in September. We are in love and the distance makes this miserable. I just want him here to hold me. But the good thing is, he is coming here in November to see me and meet my family! I’m so excited!

13 emilia on Aug 20th, 2010 said:

Wow, im glad im not the only one out there in a looong distance relationship. Its been a year since i originally wrote that story. We just spent all summer together and it was awesome. Next weekend is our two year anniversary, and i cant believe we have made this far. Good luck to all you people out there. Love knows no distance! smile

14 Makayla jo on Dec 2nd, 2010 said:

Trust me when i say long distance relationships suck….im 16 and my boyfriend is 19 we have been dating for a few months now…but he is at war half way around the world right now…I miss him so much he is the world to me..but i have to keep telling myself I’m okay and he will be fine and some day soon he will be in my arms again…but for now I have to live with 15min once a week phone calls and skyping every few weeks…it sucks but it’s worth it, the feeling of being loved is the best feeling ever:).....p.s. Anybody know how I can become an exchange student in scotland?

15 Sia on Dec 20th, 2010 said:

Emilia.. I can’t explain to you how your story just made me feel. right now its midnight and I’m up searching on how to be an exchange student to Scotland. This is going to sound dumb to most people but I met a guy online from Scotland and at first we were friends, then we started to get to know eachother and we became the best of friends, soon after we began to have feelings for eachother. I’m not so much in love yet, or atleast I tell myself I’m not because I haven’t met him yet.. but this gives me a lot of hope and I thank you sooo much for sharing.
I hope I get to tell you next year my story when I meet him for the first time..

xx

16 Josh on Dec 20th, 2010 said:

This Is amazing!!!! Just Proves to the Saying !
There is someone out there for Everybody !!!
You are the Lucky 1 to be able to find someone !!

17 Kori on Mar 14th, 2011 said:

This article had me in tears of joy. I am so incredibly happy for you and I wish you two the best! I only hope that I will be as lucky to find a love like yours on my exchange to Brazil.

18 frey on Mar 21st, 2011 said:

woww… im in a similar situation, but im an exchange student from germany and i got a boyfriend here in australia, we are going out since end of august, and i have to leave midde of julyy.. i just dont know what to do and atm we have a few little fights about the situation, as we dont know if he can come and see me next christmas, alhtough im going back in july 2012.. its just hard.. but your stories are so amazing!

19 Sam on May 14th, 2011 said:

I met a great guy in brazil. We didn’t date long while I was in Brazil, just the last two months of my exchange and I lived in a different city. He was the best friend of my cousin and I just flat out was amazed. Sweetest guy, hot body, and he thought I was cute. He tried to teach me how to surf but I was too damn terrified to get out in that water. I was there on vacation, but I pretty much knew everyone because of the novelty of being a foreigner and social networking. Regardless, we chatted everyday, he would go to the mall and pay to use their computers with webcams so we could chat once I returned home. When I didn’t get to say goodbye to him the day I left, I sat on a different side of the airplane from my host mom and I sobbed because I already missed him so much. It was way more intense than any of my other romantic flings in that country, and I was sorely disappointed in my pick of Americans.
We broke up once which was horrible because the economy just went shit-tits and neither one of us could move at all after about a year of dating. That and there were a lot of secrets in between us dealing with our physical sex lives, and the different taboos and cultural quirks that neither one of us expected to encounter. 

3 month hiatus, then we slowly started talking again, I made it clear we weren’t dating. Then we just got more and more comfortable with each other to the point where I could laugh and tell jokes, and we had crossed the cultural barrier where our humors met.

I admit, I do feel nervous, and it’s tough to see all the criticisms of long distance relationships, especially when one partner lives in a poorer country. But, my next door neighbor is a brazilian woman living with an american man and I’m sure they had to endure similar criticisms.

Sometimes I just get scared, like right now when it’s finals week there, and he doesn’t have time to talk to me constantly and I feel ignored. There’s also the fact that the economy still sucks and I could lose my job for any stupid reason and be replaced pretty easily. That would ruin our plans. I just can’t stop worrying because I know I’ve put in so much effort and it feels like I’m ashamed to have a complicated relationship. So I can’t expect anyone else to be supportive. I haven’t seen him in so long, I’m on the verge of panic attacks when I wonder about all the new boundaries we have to overcome.

I just felt like we should have waited until we were older t start a serious relationship and now we are suddenly older and I’m just not sure if I’m ready. Has anyone felt like me? I truly love him with all my heart and there are just times when I’m so amazed about all the wonderful parts of this human being I’m in love with.

hmmm

I don’t want advice on how to break up, I want advice on how to make it work.


I know I’m not in an abusive relationship, even if it’s a bit up and down and whacky sometimes. I’ve gone through that checklist and we always resolve our conflicts very maturely. It’s just a sick little waiting game to figure out where our cards are. I feel like I’m having an illicit, dangerous affair and sometimes the excitement gets to be too much. He hasn’t met any of the warning signs of using me for a visa or wanting to sell me into slavery. I have lots of connections in brazil and I feel very safe about going there to visit, I’m just not sure about how it’s going to work meeting his whole family the first time and living there for a month. Should I cut down my trip time? What did you guys do when you went back for the first big visit?

I just need to prepare myself because there’s so much narrow-mindedness about people who are foreigners in this country, everyone thinks that because he’s brown, he must be using me for a visa, or I’m getting lured away to be murdered like Natalie Holloway or that I’m going to be sold off into the streets like in that movie Taken.

I need a level headed opinion from someone who knows what I’ve been through and has seen success.

20 SG on Jun 15th, 2011 said:

Hey that’s an amazing story!! smile
I was an exchange student in America two weeks ago, before i lived with the hostfamily i was in for the last months, I met a guy. His sister had became my best friend before I met him. Well, we talked a lot, and one day I came to his house and we kissed. Then, it happened another day. But we didnt start any relationship. After a while, I had to switch my hostfamily and my best friend asked me to live with her. So, I moved over there. And, I had to live with this guy. First, we were friends, and we argue sometimes… But after a while we became closer and closer. We slept together. We just wanted to have a sex relation, just to have fun before I live. It last around three months. But the thing is we finally fell in love. Not deeply in love. That’s what we were scared of. Now, I left, we still talk everyday but it is really hard. We miss each one a lot. We were together 24h/24h for few months. Well, we didnt chose to be in a relationship because of the distance and we couldnt handle it even with the love that we have. It is too complicated!
I am kinda jealous of you two! Because you can do it smile It is so great! I wish you a lot of happiness.

21 SG on Jun 15th, 2011 said:

Sorry for the mistakes!!!

22 ash on Jun 30th, 2011 said:

This is so cute and sweet! I’m from the states and met my boyfriend my senior year of high school. He was an exchange student from Germany. He’s been back home over a year now and I haven’t seen him since April, when I went to visit him!  But he will be here at the end of July. Our relationship is the most difficult thing I’ve ever experienced but I love him more every day and I’ve learned so much from this all. I’m glad you are still together, it gives me hope.. stay strong.

23 Ally on Jul 2nd, 2011 said:

Naw thats adorable!
Im inlove with my bestfriends italian exchange student and i cant help it!
Im crazy about him, and i know when he leaves i will be heartbroken </3 i hope something works out!!
Anyways, I am soo happy for you! I wish you all the best smile

24 Karlie on Jul 22nd, 2011 said:

I can relate, kinda.

Im the american and my exchange student was german and two years older, but we only had 6 weeks together. His original host family was having problems so we were “backup” he still tells me to this day it was the best 6 weeks of his lifw. When i met him i thought he was cute and all but nothing insane. We bonded and he became my best friend.

The night before he left i ran up to im and embraced him in a hug. Little did i know, he wanted me to hug him too. We stood there for 40 minutes straight. There in those minutes, i realized i loved him for something more.

It gives me hope that it worked out so well for you guys! I love international love stories smile

25 nicky on Aug 31st, 2011 said:

well..i have a little sister and she knows what’s going on here and when we were having dinner she told something between me and my hostbrother to my hostmom, hostdad and hostbigbrother…i pretended understand nothing hahaha (but it felt so awkward)

26 bella on Oct 3rd, 2011 said:

awwwww… that is so sweet i think that it is great that you 2 met during an exchange program… im going to do an exchange program this yr. to sweden so maybe the same thing that happed to you will happen to me jus the other way around Girl meets boy in sweden instead. Im so happy 4 u 2!!!!!!!!!!

27 Me on Nov 3rd, 2011 said:

Two weeks ago my school was invaded by Germans. There was one that changed my life. His name was Hannes and he is everything to me. He showed up the first day at the football games, and my friend was his hostsister. We called ourselves a couple, and we held hands during class when we could. (it was only in one class, due to the fact that was the only class I had with my friend). And he showed up to every football/basketball game just to hold my hand. To my dismay, tomororw is his departure for Germany. I don’t know what I’m going to do now.

28 Gemma on Dec 6th, 2011 said:

your story is so lovely smile
For two weeks in summer i had a spanish exchange student who i’d been chatting to online for a few months beforehand. we got on so well and on the 4th day we kissed and for the rest of his stay we were like bestfriends and lovers and did everything together. it was the best 2 weeks of my life! on the last day we decided to stay just friends, or as he put it ‘friends who love each other too much’. i felt ok about this at the time and hoped i could accept that. but i cried the whole day after he left. and since then, we’ve spoken online and skype at least once everyday since august. he’s all i think about and i’m going there for another 2 weeks over christmas. but i havent told him i still have feelings for him and i dont know if he does either, cos we decided to be friends. I leave for spain in 2 weeks time and i don’t know what’s going to happen! if i get there and find that he doesn’t love me like that anymore and really does just want to be friends i don’t know what i’ll do…

29 MarinaKay on Jan 23rd, 2012 said:

inspiring,cute story!

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